MEMORY THERAPY

Once a month, my friend Shadow and his wife Wanda go to sex therapy. For the first few sessions, the couple mainly remembered things at each other. When asked to recount the first time they made love, my friend Shadow said, I’ll pass, even though this was not a game show. The counselor was encouraging them to get in touch with something. But there were milestones, even whole eras, from their romance that neither remembered. Wanda came up with an early kiss between them, the Spring rain, my friend Shadow’s wrist in a cast, but when was it? What was the occasion? During the fifth session, a breakthrough occurred. My friend Shadow and his wife Wanda both experienced the recollection of a repressed memory. When asked about a favorite sexual encounter, my friend Shadow replied, Oh God, I hit a teenage boy on a ten-speed with my car. His wife Wanda said, Yes, and I told you to just go, just drive! My friend Shadow said, And I did! I just sped off! No one saw! The counselor must really hate when repressed memories surface. She ended the session. But my friend Shadow and his wife Wanda are not psychopaths or deviants. They were just scared and still are. They nervously laughed in the parking garage, a little shy and embarrassed. For the record, this recovery did not fix the problems in their marriage bed. In fact, many experts believe such memories are pure fiction. But even if—this lie they are building together is a start.